Relationships are not easy. There are ups and downs; not everything is as sweet as in the movies.
Girls are stuck in the fantasy world. They read books, magazines and watch romantic movies and expect everything to go as per the script.
What many don’t realize is that when it comes to relationships you have to create your script.
You can’t use another person’s script. What works for them may never work for you. People are different; we have different tastes and preferences.
Besides, we can’t all love the same things. Sometimes it takes time to know what we want but doesn’t have to be a reason.
Cheating is optional. Many people cheat for many reasons like:
Attention means noticing your partner and becoming engaged in their lives. It means being present when they need you.
It’s also being keen on those little detail. By the way’s it’s the small things that make an impact on a relationship.
Once someone else begins giving attention to your partner, they change. This happens especially if you have neglected them.
Attention makes one feel loved, close and appreciated. Communicating daily isn’t attention!
Get to know your partner…
People are funny and understanding them is hard. Some things people do will leave you wondering.
Others are in relationships and are not satisfied. So to satisfy their needs they go ahead and cheat.
We believe that we can get intimate without getting attached. Huh! Uliskia Wapi…
Someday it will hit you like butwaa! Intimacy is a connection and whether you choose to block it, it will surface when you least expect it.
15 minutes of satisfaction can ruin a long relationship and even marriage. Why don’t you talk to your partner, explain to them how you want it…
Communication is key. They can’t know what lits your soul. Find a common ground where y’all are happy.
Everyone gets bored at one time. However, this doesn’t give you an excuse to cheat.
We all know what makes us happy. That shouldn’t stop when we are in a relationship.
Don’t put your happiness in someone else. It’s not every day we wake up with same loving energy.
Sometimes we need to take a breath. It’s at such times that we need to make ourselves happy.
You don’t have to wait for someone to make you happy. Go to your favorite place, buy your favorite drink… do what makes you happy.
4. Situations(drug influence)
The so-called “sherehe haitaki hasira”. Drugs are a bad influence; you will realize it too late.
Smoking weed and partying don’t make you cool. Drinking till you black out doesn’t add value to you.
I’m not saying that you don’t have to party… as matter of fact go have fun but be responsible.
5. To boost esteem
There is a feeling that one gets when bragging especially to your friends. Peer pressure itawaua!
Most stories are cooked! Some people hear them from somewhere then make it their own.
You would be surprised when they tell you “usiende kumuuliza byda juu atakana…”
It’s funny how people choose to lie. But you are there blinded by the few interesting parts of the story.
Self-esteem is important and one doesn’t simply get it from sleeping around. As a matter of fact, it shows how immoral you are.
Find a way to applause yourself.
This is another worst mistake people make. Just because someone made you sad you decide to cool off with someone else.
Huh! The so-called revenge…
Here is an example: a girl cheats on his boyfriend by hooking up with his friend. These called “friends” (besties) are the worst.
No friend would be willing to break the loyalty by hooking up with their best friend’s girl.
Find a way to reason with your partner. Help them solve all those overwhelming emotions.
Learn to listen and understand them.
7. Falling out of love
Lack of love for your partner happens. It may not be boredom or other issues but at times you find yourself not feeling the same.
Emotions are hard to explain. One moment you are happy the other you are sad and gloomy.
To find a balance you have to know what makes you happy; makes you connected to your partner.
Build a real connection that when you don’t feel the same, that connection will help regain back the love.
8. Wanting variety
This links back to satisfaction, security, and being treated well. When you offer all these to your partner they won’t feel the urge to cheat.
The above are just but a few reasons why people cheat. I don’t understand why people cheat; mean if you don’t feel the same just say it and walk away.
Also, remember privacy is power! Not all have good intentions for you.
*Red flags to know you being played! (next post!)
- Secretive phone or computer use
Cheaters tend to use their phones and computers more…
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