At times we are in situationships instead of relationships. We rush into things and always never look at the later consequences.
Yes, love is a good thing but we mistake love for some situations. Love is not a condition. This is where many fail to understand and end up being toxic.
It’s not about doing this for me and I’ll do that for you. Also, one doesn’t need a grand gesture to express their love.
It’s the simple things that we ignore that truly matter. It’s appreciating the little efforts and sacrifices one makes for you.
What does it mean to date someone?
Dating is the stage where someone searches for their soulmate. It’s also becoming intimate with someone and getting to know them more.
Well, some prefer having one partner while others want to have more than one partner. Relationships take a different turn since one becomes more committed to one partner.
Here are the 5 stages of dating:
This is the first stage where you see the beauty, admire them, and later develop a connection. Everyone experiences this and is an important stage in dating.
It’s from the attraction that the relationship develops into something else. At this stage, one is hooked, and everything feels perfect.
It feels great when you keep constant communication and sharing over the internet. Also, you will go on many dates before deciding to take things to the next level.
This stage also lasts a few months into the relationship.
It’s the end of attraction and one gets to see their partner for whom they are. One also gets to see their flaws and things that may annoy you.
However, doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner, it means that the reality of them has hit you. This opens you up and helps you see clearly who your partner is.
Here the adrenaline rush one used to have is subsidized. It’s where one get’s to decide whether or not they should keep their partner.
Many relationships fail at this stage. But once you see the flaws and understand your partner it becomes easy to move into commitment.
This stage means you are past the flaws and mistakes of your partner. You have accepted and understand who they are and you are ready to make things work.
In this stage also one is ready to support their partners. You accept their dreams, goals, and wants in their lives. You are happy for them and always ready to help them succeed.
It’s the stage where many also discuss plans. Many more important decisions are made here and it makes it easier for a relationship to proceed to intimacy.
This stage makes love lively. It’s where you and your partner decide to be more close to each other. It’s the connection beyond sex, but an infinite connection.
Love feels amazing and this also allows one to open up and let their guard down. It doesn’t mean you are weak it; means you trust your partner enough.
One becomes vulnerable and does not hold back on how one feels. It’s becoming aware of your partner, understanding them, and having a deeper connection.
At this stage also sees their partner’s true character in a new light. You gain more insights about them.
It’s the last stage where love has manifested one feels it’s right to pledge their loyalty to their partner. It’s a commitment for life to stay with your partner.
You also get to decide on how best to keep each other happy. There are ups and downs but once you decide what is best for you all everything becomes easy.
Can dating make you depressed?
Yes, when you date the wrong person. But also the right person can make you depressed. It has to do with “the one who got away.”
They don’t even have to be someone you dated, just someone whom your subconscious still sees as a romantic possibility.
This subconscious impression is enough to make you depressed. The thing about dating the wrong person is that even if there’s no subconscious “one who got away,” it can still make you depressed when your idea of love doesn’t match the reality of it.
Dating weakens your views of what love looks like and how it works. When that happens then you end up disappointed by what you’ve experienced with someone else.
This is because all your expectations were raised by dating instead of real-life experience which would make them more realistic.
A lot of people get involved way too quickly in relationships and forego learning things about their partner because they’re blinded by infatuation or a desire to make a relationship work.
How long until ready to date again?
Well, there is no simple answer to this. It depends on how serious the relationship was and whether or not you were exclusive.
If you were in a place where it felt like you would be together forever and because of this, your idea of love is shattered, then usually there is some heartache involved with getting back out there to start dating again.
It’s best to take some time off from dating to get over the initial feeling that comes from having lost someone significant.
Once you take time to heal and figure out what you want, it’s time to get back in the game. However, don’t dive in headfirst.
Get yourself out there and start casually dating because it makes you feel good again to meet new people.
How do you know when you’re ready to date?
You can be ready to date even if you did feel a sense of loss, but it depends on how long that lasted. In addition, some signs help you know that you’re emotionally ready for another relationship such as:
- Being able to laugh at your jokes
- Feeling confident in what you have to offer potential partners.
- Being happy and spending time with friends.
- Making new friends easily.
- And more…
There’s also another way of knowing if you’re emotionally prepared which involves looking at your self-esteem level.
If it’s still low then there might not be enough resilience within yourself yet which makes it hard to handle rejection. This is because all your insecurities about love will cause you to be clingy and your partner will get turned off by that because it’s embarrassing.
How to get ready to date again?
It’s important to remember that if you want to get ready to date again then it’s essential to take the time off from dating where you’re not involving yourself with anyone.
If you try and date while still involved in a relationship then you’re going to keep getting rejected because your heart isn’t really into it yet.
During this time of being single, even while taking some time off from dating, make sure that all your focus goes into self-improvement such as improving your looks by working out and dressing well.
This way when you do come back onto the market there will be something different about you that will attract people right away.
In addition, it is also important for you during this period to figure out what went wrong in the previous relationship.
You’re ready when:
Once the initial heartache of losing someone significant has gone away after taking some time off from dating.
Before getting into another relationship you need to ask yourself whether or not it feels like is something positive again.
This is something that can’t be taught because different people will feel it differently so you’ll need to trust your instincts at the right time for you.
It’s important not to get ahead of yourself and just concentrate on having fun instead of placing pressure on yourself that this person has to be The One.
Dating isn’t hard or painful but our expectations hurt us. We want what we read from novels and see in movies and forget that we are not all the same.