Breaking up with a person that you love dearly is never easy. The healing process might not be easy because you might be working at the same place or having mutual friends.
Although many things might get complicated, there are always ways to make the procedure easier.
If you no longer feel the connection that was there before, it is important to inform your partner that you have decided to leave.
Breakups suck. At times we go through breakups alone or might need professional help to get over it.
Breaking up with someone you love
1. Choose the right time
It is important to think about how you need the situation to unfold itself while talking to your partner. Do you prefer to do it in a public place or a private area?
Should one do it on a weekday or a weekend? Morning or evening? It is wise to be considerate of the time and place of breakup and be aware of how the state might affect the person.
Breaking up with someone during mid-week may affect their work or education.
2. Evade confrontation
Breakups tend to be vehement. Conversations can turn into a yelling match. This often happens if the situation was uncalled for.
You end up insulting each other and end up saying vicious words to one another to avoid such confrontations, it is important to scheme what to say in the conversation when breaking up with someone.
If things get too heated, it is advisable to leave the room.
3. Avoid false hope
When breaking up it is important to be clear with your intentions and avoid giving false hopes of a possible getting back together.
Some also tend to say that “we can still be allies”. It is important to say to you mean to say. If you think you should not be in touch after a breakup then be bold and say it.
It is not advisable to give one a checklist of what they should transpose to increase the possibilities of reconstructing the relationship.
Sometimes it is wise to note that things do not work out for couples and to break up with someone might be the only solution.
4. Look for help
Breaking up with someone you love is difficult. At times one is not able to heal alone and might need professional help.
Some may not like the idea of going to visit counselors due to fear of accidentally running into a person you know in the counseling center.
Nowadays there are online counseling services thus one does not need to visit a counseling center. It saves one from long drives and inappropriate consultation times.
Here, one can get to reach out to the counselor at any time they want.
5. Disengage with them
Losing someone you love may make it hard for you to dwell out of their lives. However, it is important to give them some space during the difficult period.
Avert from habitually calling and messaging them and showing up unexpectedly at their homes or workplace.
If various circumstances force you to continue being near them, then have a respectful relationship.
Try to create some substantial distance to stay easy.
6. Value the other person
It is wise to value each other because you were crucial to each other. Make an effort of showing your partner acknowledgment for their good characters.
7. Avoid break up intimacy
Getting intimate after a breaking up is not advisable. This will only bring confusion to both of you.
5 Signs for breaking up
1. Physical or mental abuse
Abuse is never a solution to problems. Any time abuse occurs, it should be considered as a deal-breaker. This is because there is a possibility of it happening again.
No person should stay in an abusive relationship, whether mentally or physically. Love should not hurt, neither should it be controlling.
If abuse exists in a relationship, then it would be good to leave the relationship.
2. No affection
Once you get to the point where there is no affection with your partner and in your relationship then it is better to leave.
An American singer once sang, “ thank you, next”
3. No communication
Without communication, a relationship can not work. Without lively communication between you and your partner then the relationship will not be successful.
When one can not share their thoughts with their partner, who else can they share with? If you find yourself not sharing thoughts and ideas with your partner because you fear how they will react, then this means they are not the right partners for you.
4. Lack of happiness
If you find yourself not being happy in a relationship, then it is a clear indication that things are not right.
If you do not enjoy the structured routines and you constantly feel disheartened it means you lack happiness.
5. One-sided relationship
If you find yourself putting 99% of effort and your partner is putting 1% effort then that is a one-sided relationship.
You should be mindful if there is any value being added to the relationship. The energy should be reciprocated.
In a relationship, both parties should be ready to participate. If it is persistently one-sided, then that is not a relationship and it is important to break up with someone.
What to avoid when breaking up with someone you love
1. Breaking up through a phone call or text
Breakups should be done in person. It is important to be physically available to convey that the relationship was indeed crucial to you.
Nowadays people tend to break up through texts and they hurt awfully.
2. Being unclear about how you feel
It is important, to be honest about your feelings with your partner. It is good to address the real point of issues involved.
3. Avoiding culpability of your decision
It is good to acknowledge what you want, instead of putting all the blame on your partner or happenings.
4. Breaking up uncleanly
One should cut off contact for some period after a break-up. This signifies some appreciation for your partners’ emotions.
It also signifies a permanent change of things.
5. Being unclear of reasons for breakups
Before breaking up with someone it is important to gather facts together on why you want to break up with the person.
Avoid blurriness and be make your intentions and reasons clear.
Can you be in love with someone but still want to part ways with them?
It is okay to part ways with someone you are in love with and at times it is needed. It might feel like you two are soulmates but it is fair for one to stay in a relationship that is not unerring for you.
Is it advisable breaking up through a text?
If the idea of breaking up with someone physically is pressurizing you then parting ways via a text is perfectly ok.
This helps one to carefully gather thoughts and schemes on what to say.
Breakups are usually intense especially if you have a close and strong bond with your partner. Before breaking up it is important to gather facts together on why you want a breakup.
During breakups, looking for the right time to do so, avoid confrontation and yellings. If you find it hard to move on after a breakup one should seek help from a professional counselor.
Lastly, it is important to value yourself and be considerate of your health.