Break ups hurt and we all want everything to last forever but sometimes forever is just a moment in time.
We love hard and give our all but it’s not enough. It’s not your fault that someone doesn’t appreciate the gem you are.
Don’t be sad, at times personal flaws hinder us from seeing the best in someone else. The best we can do is accept ourselves and choose what makes us happy.
Don’t settle for something less, peace of mind, understanding, love, appreciation must be there too.
What does it mean to break up with someone?
Breakups are inevitable and one should openly accept them. It simply means leaving your favorite person, things you did with them, and everything that reminds you of them.
It’s taking a break from them and focusing on yourself. It’s accepting that you can’t be a part of their lives anymore. It also means keeping distance and working on other better things.
At times breakups are not smooth as told in fairy tales. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to be bitter and sad over everything else.
For once embrace the wonderful change that is happening. Find things that make you happy and a better person.
Is a break up normal?
Yes, it’s perfectly normal to break up with someone. It doesn’t mean that you are a bad person just that you two don’t have the same goals.
Breaking up with someone means that they need space to better themselves. Don’t be worried that you are abnormal, forever can be just a moment.
Can a break up be traumatic?
Yes, they are even the strongest of us all who can go down after a breakup. Losing the person that gave you all is distressing.
We experience physical and psychological grief before we accept they are gone. A romantic relationship brings an intense feeling of loss; since one had already accepted their partner.
We feel we have lost love, comfort, and security. We miss our partners for being there for support, validation, guidance, and more whenever we needed them.
Remembering all this brings sadness and pain, makes us want to know what we could have done differently.
Instead of focusing on making ourselves better, we end up worrying and falling deep into an abyss of sadness.
Breakups can cause this:
This is the change of personality; how a person feels and acts. It sets in the first moments when someone has broken up with you.
It makes one question and worries why it happened. One tries to seek clarity and what they could have done better. It also makes one unable to converse with others.
This affects one’s personality and deviates them from being the best versions of themselves. It destroys confidence and trust as well as esteem.
Watch out for this:
- Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness, or hopelessness.
- Angry outbursts, irritability, or frustration, even over small matters.
- Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies, or sports.
- Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much.
- Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
However, this can be overcome by being open. That is acceptance, talking about it, finding things that build you up. It’s a bit challenging but once you have made a choice everything falls into place in time.
It’s a fear that attacks someone and makes them feel uneasy. It also comes with sweat, feeling restless, and tense with a high heart rate.
At times anxiety happens especially when faced with a hard decision. But anxiety brings a lot of worrying, one is constantly unsure of what will happen when they do or do not do something.
- Feeling restless, wound-up, or on-edge.
- Being easily fatigued.
- Having difficulty concentrating; mind going blank.
- Being irritable.
- Difficulty falling or staying asleep
One can deal with anxiety by:
- Taking a break from things that bring anxiety.
- Have a good meal before bed.
- Talking about the worrying things.
- Having enough sleep.
3. Panic attacks
Sudden attacks of fear cause fast breathing, heart racing, sweating, and unable to do anything at that moment. Weakness, dizziness, difficulty in breathing, and nausea are also common with a panic attack.
These occur when having a panic attack:
- Fear of loss of control or death.
- Rapid, pounding heart rate.
- Trembling or shaking.
- Shortness of breath or tightness in your throat.
Well, one can avoid all these by:
- Seek counseling and other professional help
- Exercising and doing breathing exercises every day.
- Eat healthy meals.
- Avoid caffeine, smoking, and alcohol, as they may make anxiety worse.
It’s a sleeping disorder that makes it hard to fall or stay asleep. This means that one can’t get enough sleep and gets one feeling tired.
Watch out for these:
- Daytime fatigue or sleepiness
- Irritability, depression, or anxiety
- Gastrointestinal symptoms
- Low motivation or energy
This however can be overcome by:
- Stick to a sleep schedule.
- Check your medications.
- Avoid or limit naps.
- Evade or restrict caffeine and alcohol and don’t use nicotine.
- Stop having large meals and beverages before bed.
There are other things that a breakup causes. These are but the most common of them.
Why do people break up?
1. Poor communication skills
This is the major cause of breakups. When you hide things from your partner and they find out it brings up issues.
We are never too busy to communicate and check on your partner. It doesn’t mean calling all texting every time but do find time to share.
Without communication, the relationship is bound to end. Communication improves trust and boosts the relationship.
It’s best you find time to call or text your partner. This little gesture will matter a lot for your relationship.
Some people are cheats. They just can’t stick to one partner. To avoid this one needs to settle with the right partner.
Don’t go for looks, look at the qualities of a person, get to know them first before jumping into a relationship.
It’s not a disease that needs treatment but it’s all about choice. Settle with the right person and escape all these troubles.
3. Toxic behavior
It’s true some people don’t change. And you can’t change someone unless they have decided to. Some things people do are not worth it and end up destroying good relations.
A good partner should be supportive, kind, and bear good intentions.
4. Rushing things
This has a huge impact on young relations. One doesn’t take time to know their partner they just start dating even without becoming friends, going out…
The urge to just do things without taking time destroys good things. We need to practice patience, openness, have time to process things before rushing to them.
5. Unrealistic expectations
At times we make mistakes of expecting way too much. We often forget our partners’ lives are different from ours.
Promising more than what the partner is able to provide. Also, we don’t take time to consider their situations.
This leads to setting priorities for the wrong things. We don’t appreciate the little that is there we want more.
Well, there is no perfect relationship. A break up is normal, it means you have embraced change. There are challenges that come but having a way to deal with them will save you a lot.