These days finding the perfect friend is hard. A friend is someone who is always there for you no matter the situation.
A friend supports you and claps when you are winning. They are never jealous since winning is a team effort.
These days such words have become meaningless; people are friends with you for what you offer. As soon as it’s gone so are they.
Friendships have become like barter trade. These days’ friends are causing more harm than strangers.
It’s funny how today you would die for me, but come tomorrow the first opportunity you would betray me.
A friendship has been transformed into a transaction. As soon as you are done offering then they move one to another host.
It’s a sad generation hiding away in beautiful smiles. You never know their intentions until something happens to you.
Friendships can be divided into two:
- Circumstantial friends
Circumstantial means they are influenced by external forces, not by attraction such as workmates, roommates, classmates…
Cosmic on the other hand is about strong connection; not by circumstance. You both have a desire for something that connects you.
Have a passion for the same things; isn’t broken even when you don’t talk often or one gets married.
The following are some reasons why friendships aren’t lasting.
Many make mistakes here; they expect more from the friendship. Friendship just like any other relationship has filters.
Not everything is supposed to be shared, done together, or “repaid”. I am not doing this for you so you can do it for me too.
No friendship is expressive; it’s not about favors. When you do something for your friend do it out of love; don’t expect something in return.
Always manage your expectations. Better yet ask them before doing them a favor, ask never assume; don’t expect…
It’s another factor that causes friendships to break. You shouldn’t feel sad or jealous when your friend is winning.
Winning doesn’t mean you won’t either. Everyone has a different timeline; we can’t all be successful at the same time.
Support them, learn from them, get to know what it takes to be successful. Jealousy won’t help instead it will lead to your downfall.
It also doesn’t hurt to help them succeed. It feels good to be on the winning team than being sad you aren’t on their level.
3. Comparison: Class
This is a great killer of friendships. We often look at material things and social class before becoming friends with someone.
Real friendships aren’t about material things. A friendship is more about the love and support one expresses.
Social class and material things shouldn’t matter. Besides, all these can be achieved through friendship.
Friendship is priceless. No amount of money or class should define a relationship.
4. Trust issues
Well, these days it’s hard to trust people. This is especially because friends are responsible for many misfortunes.
Trust has become hard to give. There are the good and bad ones; just like a tree bears fruits not all are good…
Understanding one other is crucial. Trust is not one way either… It’s a two-way street and once it’s broken it’s hard fixing it.
This keeps people apart but a true friend always finds time for their friends. When dating doesn’t mean you have to unfriend all your friends.
What happens when things don’t work out? Have someone you can always go to when you have issues with your partner.
It doesn’t hurt either to be friends with your friend’s partner. Trend carefully though because this does hurt some relationships.
Many are trying too much to be like their friends. This doesn’t end well and often makes friendships end.
We all have different times to succeed. Don’t try to compare and compete with someone who has been working for more than a decade.
Success is not overnight. Learn to input hard work and persistence to make it and don’t be in a competition with anyone.
Celebrate their wins and support them. Learn from them and keep fruitfully growing each other. Your time too will come.
People pretend so much these days. They show you their best side until you get to know who they are.
Most want to get what you are offering and as soon as you give them; that’s all. They want to gain yet they aren’t toiling.
It has become a one-way street; more like an ATM, just withdrawals…
It comes in two forms:
- Breach of loyalty
- For Personal gain
Some break loyalty especially one confides in them. I might have a crush and then I tell my friend then he goes ahead and tells my partner about that.
Sometimes it’s about jealousy and they feel you aren’t entitled to all that. One shouldn’t disclose such personal details to anyone.
In the case of personal gain, mostly happens when one want’s an opportunity. You report your workmate for you to get a promotion.
Sadly, people do all that it takes to get what they want. Why burn a bridge for a promotion that maybe wouldn’t last?
Sometimes we lose the best things trying to reach for something temporally. How much do you value your friend?
9. Loss of mutual interests
As we grow it’s easy to lose interest. Not everything you were interested in when young, you want it now.
Well, we keep discovering new things. If you aren’t close with your friend you won’t know what they want.
As much as we change we can always find the best interests we can pursue together. It doesn’t hurt to ask too.
People make things hard. There is a better way of handling things; a way that is great and doesn’t leave people hurt.
Friendships are great, it feels amazing having someone who is always there for you when you need them.
Having someone who knows you more than you do is amazing. We all need someone to rely on; one who isn’t judgmental, one who understands right when you need them the most…
Be honest and never lie; don’t pretend if it doesn’t work out don’t force it. Friendship should come freely. Cultivate the friendship in the best way you want.
It’s doesn’t have to be perfect, have mutual understanding, and keep bettering each other.